So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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