I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
