So drunk its hurt
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
