you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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