God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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