I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize