Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
