Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
