You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
