at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have post one night stand depression
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