I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
