I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
