just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
