oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
