You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
