I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i think i have two assholes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
