So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
this just has baby written all over it
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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