I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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