Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
