Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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