i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
