i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize