we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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