doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
