everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
