You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You made out with two different species that night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
