I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
