I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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