TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize