I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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