I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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