Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
