i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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