I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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