what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
