I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
