There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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