How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
