We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
