I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Drake has all the answers
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
