We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
