I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
