Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
