sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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