so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
