I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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