it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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