I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
