We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
