Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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