I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
