Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
