she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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