So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
