I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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