Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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