And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
