why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
