What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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