Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize