end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize