I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
