i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she looked like the before picture.
honey bunches of taint.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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